My nights and days are spent thinking about you. Moving for you. Making decisions based onyou. It was the way I was told to feel about God. My dedication has never been as good as I hoped.... But just to see those people who all believe so strongly. A positive energy altogether in a room.
Please give me directions. I think the hurt set in, but I can't feel nothin'.

In my eventful life tonight I made stirfry. Talked to Trig a bit, spoke to Milo while he studied. Coughed a lot for about 5 minutes.

No more slips today.
Just the one or two puffs off that cig this afternoon.
I was just so mad at how they treated Melissa.. And everyone cops out behind the "humour" card.
"Remember I'm sarcastic 98% of the time", she says.
It's bullshit. But whatever.


the contest entries are in today.. They're all good, but I think it'll be myself, Cara and Hannah.
Milo broke my heart by saying he likes Hannah's better. AAAAAHAHHHHHHHwwell... I'll deal. Just pick up the pieces and move on.

But in reality, she did do a damned good job.
I just know that more effort went into mine.
To be honest, I'm threatened.

She grabs her magazine. She packs her things and she goes. She leaves the pictures hangin on the wall. She burns all her notes. She knows she's been here too few years to feel this old.

It's quarter to three in the morning. I could be heading to bed.... I should be. No one is up to entertain me....
But alas.. I'm not remotely tired.
Quote of the day-
NuckleHead11-I can't believe no one said "Fuck your mom." I guess people really don't like brown chicks.
AndyGill- She's always on her cell phone.



GOLD.


So anyway.. on to whatever else.
Pneumonia front is getting better.
Coughing up yellow.
Tomorrow I'm gunna be lonely and buddyless all day.
With no one to talk to...... So I've deicated tomorrow to cleaning what I didn't get to around here today. And dealing with the cats all day which feels sometimes like a fulltime job.
Won't you help to sing these songs of freedom? Its all I ever had.. Redemption Songs.
SO MUCH TO SAY... So little time. So much of a feeling of not being able to.
Feel like I might go out on Wednesday. That would be goo dI think. go out, get some stuff done.. Go downtown. Take pics. Feel good.
Or maybe I'll go somewhere I don't usually go?? Get some pics from Burnaby Mountain/SFU???
Its a thought.
anyway Thats my plan. To leave the house on my own for the first time since Valentines day.... Going somewhere OTHER than the hospital with Stew and Christie, My favorite Ambulance Drivers.



Stew looked like Alan Alda.

Ambulance drivers should wear nametags.