Did she make you cry, make you break down? Shadow your illusions of love.....

Dear Daddy.
Hope you're well, wherever you are.
I'm doing fine. Twenty one now. I wonder if you even know that. Held down a job for three and a half years, I wonder if you've ever had one that long... As credible as a farm hand and a male stripper goes, that is.
I'm doing well, you know.... Grew up good, not that you're interested to know.
Been living on my own for a few years. It's hard, but I'm fortunate enough to have a parent who helps me out a little.
I wonder if you have anything planned for Sunday.
You shouldn't. You should probably spend Sunday by yourself, reflecting on why your children aren't around you.....
Though.. maybe the other kids will be with you. Maybe they are appreciative for you being their father... I wouldn't know.
I wouldn't know much.

Anyway. Not much to say, stranger... But I am thinking about you.
Everything that you've done... not for me.. but to me.. by not being there for me....

More in my life is caused by your absence than I care to admit. And I want you to know that, even though theres nowhere for me to send this, there's no way you'll ever know.
Everyday since I was seven years old.. you have walked away from me.
every single day, you walk further away. And I want you to know that every single day I am faced with the reality that my daddy doesn't fucking love me.
Talk about a complex.
Fuck you, daddy.

So, We had a Tsunami warning two nights ago and I didn't even know until the day after when the posting was taken down. Apparently the only part of BC that passed this alert test was Tofino. The Island failed. There were people all over the beaches partying and stuff. Yah. No good. No good at all.
Today is payday. I don't expect that I'll get much.. but something is fine with me.
I have to do a bunch of insurance papers.
Which sucks.
But you know, I deal.



I can tell I'm nervous. I'm sucking my pen. Talking to George... About to feel a nice bomb hit. I can tell.. My hands are sweaty. I'm shakey.... Its no good. No good at all. *sigh* Here goes.

yah.
Exactly what I thought. He gave me another girls cigarettes. :O
You'll never get away from the sound of the The woman that loves you.
This shit is harder than I thought it would be.


Oh well. What can you do?
They say that breaking up is hard to do.. now I know, I know that its true...
Gwen makes me feel good. Good Gwen. Good.
I walked around my good intentions and found that there were none. I blame my father for the wasted years we hardly talked....

Sunday is Fathers Day. Shoot me in the head.

She only sleeps when its raining. And she screams and her voice is strained....
So. What the hell is new?
Nothing. Smoking weed with random strangers... they gave me a full unopened pack of cigarettes though.
That ruled, as I was almost out.
I appreciate free smokes always. though, it means 20 more before I quit, but it's probably gunna be a shitload more than that.
Not in the mood tonight.

You could be my silver springs
Blue green colours flashin
I would be your only dream
Your shining autumn, ocean crashing
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don't wanna know

I'll begin not to love you
Turn around, see me runnin
I'll say I loved you years ago
Tell myself you never loved me, no
And did you say she was pretty
And did you say that she loves you
Baby, I don't wanna know
Oh, no
And can you tell me was it worth it
Really, I don't wanna know

Time cast its spell on you, but you won't forget me
I know I could have loved you, but you would not let me

I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you
Was I just a fool?
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
Was I just a fool?
I'll follow you down til the sound of my voice will haunt you
Give me just a chance
You'll never get away from the sound of the woman that loves you
Never get away. Never get away. Never get away.


You could be my silver springs
My blue green colours flashin....


I've gone mad. This is so typically Lexy, by the way.
I go mental every now and again.
What the fuck is it that makes me so jealous of nothing.


WHO cares if George went out and got laid? Why is it such a big deal?
It just is. I guess you can't really control emotions though, can you?


I'm hungry. And itchy. And cranky.

YOU

are the girl of my dreams

Haha I sound like a cheesy boy band song now.

Anyways, just in downtown Edmonton right now. We held today's meeting at West Edmonton Mall so that cut back 6 hours of driving to and from Calgary, so I had so much free time tonight! A few of the guys went to see Star Wars (I was already dragged to it a couple of weeks ago) so I told Robin to drop me off here for a while...just checking up on the e-mails, white noise, and yeah....just wanted to tell you that I love you and I miss you...and I will talk to you tonight!!

Hope you're having a good day!



He makes me so happy.