Every two weeks or so... Probably not even.. I'm getting sick. I duno if its the same sick over and over, but I was asleep on the couch tonight for only anhour at a time, sniffling.. nose dripping, throat killing me.... I'm really tired.. but I can't sleep like this.
I don't want to call in sick tomorrow but it looks like I might have to.... Or else I'll just be bitchy and dead tired all day.



So yah.
WTF is up with life???
It's the 2nd. The second of April. Yup.The second... Indeed. Matthew Good @ AFC is soon, and I need to buy tickets today. 6 days....

But after that, it all goes downhill. This summer is going to basically consist of me working.

I just have to keep in mind that this is a good thing. I was so scared to stay in my own place last night that I ended up here. At least here there is something (the computer) to occupy my time.
I need toget one, and fast. My mom said she's looking. I need a bed... for now I'll be sleeping on the futon on the floor.. like a ghetto trailer park trash kid.
The only worry I have is that the landlords wife seems nosey as all hell.... And ditzy... But otherwise everything is good.
I set up some stuff yesterday.. Makes it look like its MINE and not just.. a place.. you know?
My own little apartment.
I'll take pictures and whatnot.. I left mycamera at work yesterday I believe.. so I have to get it back.
There are canucks flags in my house now. Bob Marley, Matthew Good... and Eminem. I put up some random cow things in my kitchen... and I'm excited to have my own space.
I'm taking Marshall today, Looks like.. and a bit more stuff.
Maybe G and I could even fit the leather couch onto the back of the truck and tether it there, who knows.

I am so fucking tired.
I'm excited to have my own place, but still.. so scared. To live alone. It's almost alien to me. |Such a Crazy Idea|
I think it's worse having no furniture, no TV and no Computer though. It just seems so LONELY.

It's bsically not the kind of place where I could party. I could have probably a few people over.. But not too many before it was crowded. really crowded.
AAAH WELL.


Now.. My choices remain. It's 5:32 Am. So... Do I forget about sleeping? Stay awake until George gets up....? I took a T3 and it has finally kicked in. D Ii go back to life on the couch?
God.. I'm tempted to just go and sleep next to him, but it's not fair to either of us.
He'd wrap his arms around me and hold me.. I'd shut him down.
It's causing problems that don't need to be caused.

And so.. I finish a coffee crisp and stare blankly, lstening to crappy Green Day. Thats another thing. I only have my MP3 player there. No radio or nothing. :o And no computer to switch the songs!!

god damn. So tired. Lok and feel like absolute shit..
But I finally have time to write.
It doesn't answer the questions that you begged of me with your eyes yesterday.. I see it. I know what you think. All I can tell you, darling, is that.. for now. You're wrong.
Twenty Five Days. *sigh* Misery. Twenty Five days and I dunno what I'll do with myself.
I'll stare at a bunny with a head far too large for its body and just.. .wonder.
No more or less than I'm doing now... Only lonelier.
If it is possible to get any lonelier than I feel right now, that is.
But it's good. Thats how I'm supposed to feel. and it will get better with time. I'm so afraid I'll backtrack, while my motivation escapes me.. But I know that I can't. This is where I need to be.
I said so much to my mom yesterday, half of the things I said I had been thinking for a long time, but too afraid to say them.. And half of them I just started talking and this time actually found the words to say what I felt. It makes me sick... It makes me laugh when I look at you, clap while its kicking us around.

I'm listening to the Lion King Soundtrack. What a good score. What a good movie. FANFUCKINGTASTIC.
I need VCR. George offered me this one. Perhaps I wil take it.
I wonder howmuch money I have left. Not much.. I bought some tomato sauce, and some juice yesterday. I can live on ghetto pasta and White Spot for the month.
OH AND CHEESE. SHIT.. Cheese.. Oh well... Its cold enough outside that the cheese should be fine in the car until I get it home. Fuck, I can't believe I forgot the cheese. What a goof.
I went to Superstore to buy a litter pan, but when the only one they had was broken.. I was shit out of luck. I think thats mostly why I stayed here last night. I was hell bent on being near my kitties.


"I'm gunna be a mighty kng.. so enemies beware."

"Well, I've never seen the Kingof Beasts with quite so little HAIR."


What a gooood movie. I should watch it.
I have to buy Bambi...
I need to get my eyebrows waxed.
Expenses I can't afford. I want BAMBI though... .My purchases for myself this month were limited.. .I allowed myself Stephen Kings book; Gerald's Game. As Well as Arts County Fair. I'm allowing that because I have been so damned excited about it forever. Since Colin told me about it, that is.


Twenty Five days.


I'm falling asleep, It's ten to six. God damn. Back to bed I guess.
Much to do today.